Saturday, July 7, 2012

Sleeping on Sandwiches - Day 15

Sleeping on Sandwiches - Day 15

The Posture Police Blotter was on hiatus for awhile and I've revived it with a daily blog that is running from June 20 through September 22. This daily edition has a different focus to it and the gem in all of this is that what I'm going to be writing and what I've written about posture and the Alexander Technique are all related. Follow along and learn how!

Taking inventory and moving forward

I've just read an article in The New York Times called "The Busy Trap"

I've just come off of a few months of what I might call being "crazy busy" and am now headed into a month during which I've set aside significant time to be with my family and help out at home.  I'm still busy trying to unpack boxes and organize things can often be complicated with two small children wanting to get involved, the younger one not really understanding why having some degree of organization is likley crucial to her future happiness.  In any case, this is a different kind of busy and is nonetheless a sort of slowing down and taking inventory of stuff and of myself in relation to that stuff and the people who I share my home with.

Stopping and taking inventory, though a necessary step for moving forward, also feels scary and disorienting.  Opening boxes that I packed up five years ago and put in a closet in our previous apartment (and am finally sorting through after having had them sitting in the living room of our new apartment for over a year) opens up reminders of who I was and what I was doing at that time and in the five years or so prior.  I tend to hang onto stuff and it's always even more sentimental than I expect when I rediscover saved items - from a ticket stub from one of the last films that I saw before becoming a parent (I haven't been out to the movies in almost 6 years) to my abandoned hobby of black and white photography.

Discovering the past, I am reminded of things that I loved doing that I'd like to take up again, of seemingly insignificant saved paperwork and bills, of time passed, and choices made.  In terms of how the four of us are relating, these next few weeks are an opportunity to climb out of the rut that we've been in, which, if successful will offer us an chance to address bigger issues.  As our we organize our home, it feels as if a warm blanket of comfortable disfunctionality is peeling off and I feel the urge to crawl back inside.  The change begs questions to be answers and decisions to be made once the urgent issue is no longer, "Well, we have to finish unpacking and start actually eating in our kitching".  Sleeping on sandwiches might not sound so great, but dig deeper, and it can be quite cozy and serve as a dam, holding back a deluge of issues to be addressed.

I'm feeling quite uneasy at the moment, yet open and released.  My neck, ribs, shoulders and belly all feel quite expanded and relaxed with no attention paid to them at all, yet in my disorientation, I feel at a loss as to how I'm going to spend the whole day with my children, feed them, break up fights, and negotiate the unpacking of boxes.  Change can be very uncomfortable, but not allowing for change can be stifling. 

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